I say things that don’t need to be said out loud and sometimes nose my way into situations that don’t call for my presence or input at all. I have held onto people for years completely unaware I was in love with them and, strangely, I’ve held onto people I loved at one point years after I stopped actually liking them. RELATED: 13 Signs You’re Just Not A ‘Relationship Person’ I am prone to casually blurting things that step outside the social boundaries of monogamy, and that always makes things interesting/awkward.
Simply put: the rules of relationships and the social structures of romance seem to evade me.
But, if nothing else, those I love have no question that I do. I am loyal to a fault. I get loud in defense of my loved ones even when they won’t. RELATED: What I Actually Mean When I Say I’m Afraid Of Commitment I spend too much time and money on gifts or special extras. I get extra sentimental when heaping on overzealous praise at the drop of a hat. I rave about those I love to friends so often I am sure they’re convinced I am overcompensating for something. I’ve always been this way, but in my younger years, my lack of confidence or real-life romance role model caused me to counter my good intentions with a lot of belittling language or insane jealousy when I felt slighted. RELATED: How To Get Him To See You As Relationship Material, Not As A Hook-Up These years aren’t my proudest memories, but honestly, I am glad I am able to see them in my rearview instead of realizing I am still acting out like that now.
My love isn’t possessive and makes no attempts to control my partner these days.
I have found that loving from a place of gratitude that we get to share time together — no matter the amount — eliminates an enormous amount of BS relationship drama and, in turn, keeps my relationship afloat longer in the end. RELATED: 6 Reasons It’s Absolutely Okay If You Don’t Want A Relationship I know how to give in ways that complement my partner’s needs. I know how to listen when I am mad. I know how to create a warm space with my presence and build up my partner when he is hurting or feeling less than himself. I know how to protect the part of a union that makes being with someone special and worthwhile in any context. And I know how to find someone who will give me the same.
I may not be great at playing by those weird, arbitrary social norms about romance, but dammit, I know how to love.
RELATED: If You Can’t Commit To Loving Him No Matter What, Let Him Go Liz Pardue-Schultz is a writer whose work has appeared in Huffington Post, Time Magazine, XOJane, Medium, SheSaid, HelloGiggles, Ravishly, and Thought Catalog.
