There are all kinds of boundaries. They range from physical, emotional, social, and your career. Boundaries mean finding the balance in your relationship, as well as compromise with your partner. Healthy boundaries in a relationship are good for your mental health. RELATED: 5 Healthy Ways Introverts Can Set Healthy Boundaries In Relationships QS Supplies did a study on how the size of your home affects your relationship. The study began by accessing the living situation. About half of the couples found a new place together. The remaining half was split between couples, one person moved into the other’s home, and vice versa. They found moving into a partner’s home proved to be the most difficult. Of these couples, 63 percent felt they were encroaching on the other’s territory. This created stress for the relationship, even when the partner that stayed put reported feeling stress-free at first. If you have ever lived with someone, you know it comes with certain sacrifices. This means that there is a change, which isn’t all bad. Couples did have more time together, which they enjoyed. But one in three reported they had less “me time.” There were also some other interesting facts when it came to the size of your home. The smaller the home meant couples had less sex. The larger the home meant they were more patient and spent more time together. But if the home was too large, they began to become less patient with one another. Moving in together also meant more arguments. The top argument was about chores. A reason arguments around chores came up after moving in together, was because there wasn’t a need to discuss it beforehand. Cleaning habits and paying bills were close runner-ups. These couples were least likely to argue about childcare and parenting. Don’t get the study wrong, moving in together can be a wonderful part of a relationship.
Here are 7 healthy boundaries in a relationship to set immediately:
1. Have self-respect.
This is where it all begins. It starts with you feeling good about yourself. This will help you set boundaries that you will feel good about.
2. Stay away from the “pleasing trap.”
This is an easy one to get stuck in: You want to please your partner. You may feel you need to do this so your partner will not reject you. When you are stuck in the pleasing trap, you will eventually feel contempt. Meaning, you begin to feel better than your partner at a core level, which leads to a lack of respect. This can ruin a relationship. RELATED: 6 (Warning!) Signs You’re Letting People Take Full Advantage Of You
3. Balance the power in the relationship.
When one person is in charge of making all of the important decisions, it will lead to burnout on both sides. You will not feel heard. This is another way contempt will build. This also doesn’t help build trust.
4. Stop saying “yes” when you mean “no.”
You may feel you have to say yes. You may feel you are the only one that can do the job the “right” way. This will also lead to burnout. When you start to say no, you’re saying yes to yourself.
5. Set aside time for yourself.
Make sure you have time for yourself each day. It can start with 10 minutes a day. Have a cup of coffee in the morning and write in your journal. Take a mental health day. This is when you set the entire day aside for yourself. You can go to a hotel and relax by the pool, or go for a hike. Make sure it is something that brings you joy.
6. Ask for help when you need it.
You aren’t a superhero, and you shouldn’t be with someone that expects you to be. Don’t let your pride get in the way. If you need an extra hand in the kitchen, ask for it. You will feel better when you do this.
7. Stop feeling guilty.
Setting boundaries is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. You have been taught to put others first — but this comes with a cost. Meaning, your mental health will eventually suffer. It’s true, you can’t take care of anyone else until you have taken care of yourself. So, stop feeling guilty about it, and make yourself a priority. Just as it is important for you to set boundaries, it’s important that you respect your partner’s boundaries. This will help balance your relationship, which is what we all want. You can create the happy and successful relationship you have always wanted. RELATED: How To Set Healthy Boundaries — So You Stop Getting Hurt Lianne Avila is a marriage and family therapist helping people in San Mateo, CA who are looking to create a life that is happier and more fulfilling. Subscribe to Lianne’s newsletter on Lessons for Love to learn more about her services and expertise. This article was originally published at Lessons for Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.
