Instead of thinking the guys you meet are left up to chance or you have to wait to get chosen by a guy, you can influence the kind of men who show up in your life. As a dating and relationship coach, when women first start coaching with me, they sense they are doing things that keep them from dating better men. What they don’t realize initially and do learn during our coaching sessions is that they unintentionally and unknowingly stand in their own way of meeting and dating higher-quality men. RELATED: 10 Dating Tips I REALLY Wish I’d Followed While I Was Single Once they internalize and understand they are standing in their own way, it transforms their experience of dating and relationships. I share this with you because when you truly get that you are standing in your own way, this realization will empower and inspire you to create the dating experience you’ve always desired. In a moment, you’ll learn 5 ways to change yourself and in the process, date higher quality men. But first, here are some reasons that may be keeping you from being more successful in your dating life.
Getting sidetracked by smooth-talking guys who aren’t right for you. Initiating and doing too much for a guy and then being unappreciated, taken for granted, or taken advantage of.Letting the guy set the pace and having sex too soon.Making short-term decisions instead of long-term choices.Sacrificing your integrity by not staying true to yourself. Settling for less than you deserve because you don’t know your worth. Being afraid that time is running out or thinking you won’t meet someone better.Overlooking red flags and not listening to your intuition. Wanting so badly to be with someone (or anyone).Not being happy as a single person and looking to someone else for your happiness. Not knowing what a high-quality man is like because you haven’t experienced that yet.
If any of these reasons resonate with you, know this… you have the power to create a better dating experience by changing yourself in ways that let you be true to yourself. By changing yourself, you break the pattern of dating guys who don’t respect, value, and appreciate you. And in the process, you attract and date higher-quality men.
5 ways to change for the better while attracting and dating higher quality men"
1. Let yourself be feminine.
If you tend to take on the role of the man, you take away a man’s desire and inclination to do things for you (things that show you he values and appreciates you.) Instead of “being the man”, be the woman by connecting with your femininity. Respond more and initiate less. Receive with grace. Show your softer side by letting yourself be vulnerable. When a man experiences your feminine essence, he is inspired to treat you like the queen you are.
2. Set higher standards.
Set standards for the way you want to be treated, how you want to feel, what’s acceptable and not acceptable, etc. Then stick to these standards. At the first sign that you don’t feel good about the way a man treats you, speak up instead of swallowing your voice. Then leave if he treats you poorly again. By sticking around, you are telling him that it’s okay for him to treat you this way.
3. Set the pace.
Many guys may try to rush you into having sex before you are ready. If this happens, don’t let him pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. Instead, set the pace by saying something like, “I appreciate your offer and I’m looking for more than a physical connection at this time in my life. RELATED: Male Take: 5 Surprising Spots Top Meet Great Guys (Not The Bar!) Sex is an intimate expression of myself with a man I feel emotionally connected to. When I find this connection with the right man, I know that we will have great sex.” A (high-quality) man who is looking for more than sex will respect your wishes.
4. Stay on track.
Every choice you make brings you closer or takes you further away from what you truly want. Resist the urge to go out with smooth-talking, good-looking guys if you sense or know there isn’t anything of substance. Don’t go out with guys who aren’t right for you just because you’re not seeing anyone. Say yes to the kind of men who are looking for the kind of relationship and connection you want. Be open to good men whom you might not normally consider. Good men come in different packages.
5. Let your inner beauty shine.
While your physical appearance initially catches a man’s eyes, it’s who you are on the inside that captivates his heart. Make peace with your past by resolving disappointment and heartache from previous dates and relationships not working out. Become the best version of you by doing the inner work. In doing so, you will radiate energy that is irresistible and let your inner beauty shine through. RELATED: If You Have These 10 Traits, Congrats! You’re Girlfriend Material Consistently practicing these 5 ways will lead to higher quality men showing up in your life. The type of guys you used to date will fall by the wayside and more of the right men will want to date you. Remember this—you have the power to create the dating experience you’ve always desired. What will you start doing to change for the better? Janet Ong Zimmerman is a dating/relationship coach, the founder of Love for Successful Women, and creator of the Woo Course: 9 Juicy Ways to Bring Out a Man’s Desire to Woo You. She helps successful women experience love with ease and clarity.
