How do you develop that confidence to open yourself up for possible rejection and be OK with weeding out the pretenders before you get to the contender? Sound intimidating? No problem if so, because it can be intimidating. RELATED: 7 Questions You Must Ask Yourself If You Want Find True Love — Before You Even Start Dating Just the thought of it may resign you to take the easy way out by signing up for a dating app, hiring a matchmaker, or finally just sliding in a DM or an old flame. One of those strategies could work, but wouldn’t it be great if you, yourself, take control, put in the work, and get the results you’re looking for? But there is hope. You may just need some inspiration — and maybe even a mantra — to help you find love.
Here are 10 mantras to inspire you to keep trying to find love.
Find the one that’s meaningful to you. Write it down or repeat it. This practice can be very powerful!
1. “Start thinking positively and see how fast your world changes.” — Unknown
In Norman Peake’s powerful book, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” he states that “It is up to you to actually change your thoughts and believe that you can bring value wherever you go.” In other words, believe every dating experience is going to be a wonderful journey whereby you will learn great about yourself and your date. You will be amazed how you will be transformed.
2. “Be a reflection of what you’d like to see in others. If you want love, give love; if you want honesty, give honesty; if you want respect, give respect. You get in return what you give!” — Unknown
This is a valuable tool to use when you start dating again because reflection will challenge you to strive for a relationship that’s more rewarding and fulfilling than settling for the status quo.
3. “Comparison is the most poisonous element in the human heart because it destroys ingenuity and it robs peace and joy.” — Euginia Herlihy
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Comparison is the thief of joy”? This is definitely true when you start dating again because by comparing a new date with an ex, you are constantly living in the past instead of focusing on the present and the person that is right in front of you. When you find yourself doing this, remember this phrase, “I am going to live the life I love now.”
4. “Don’t be in such a hurry to be in a relationship. Good things take time, and require a lot of patience. When you find your special someone, you want it to mean something. You want it to feel different for once. You can screw something up forever by rushing into it. Go slow in a relationship. The faster you go, the faster it will end.” — Unknown
Taking it slow allows you to really explore and find out if this is the person you want to spend your next journey with. Be curious about your date. Ask questions. Try new things together and find ways to connect other than through text. If this is the person for you, you will know it, so taking your time won’t hurt.
5. “Pleasure is none if not diversified.” — John Donne
It’s quite simple, by diversifying you increase your chances of success. Putting all of your eggs in one basket leaves with little margin for error. So go out with someone out of your normal pattern. You might be pleasantly surprised. RELATED: Get Back Out There! Start Dating Again After Being Single Forever
6. “Having expectations of others means you are trying to fix their lives. Don’t do that. Fix your own life — that is freedom.” — Sadhguru
Knowing how you want to be treated and respected during a date is awesome, but try your expectations overall. If you’re simply being yourself, the person that appreciates what you bring to the table will eventually find you.
7. “When you pay attention to details, the big picture will take care of itself.” — Georges St-Pierre
This skill is vital to the success or failure of your dating journey. Paying attention helps your date feel valued and helps them believe that their feelings are just as important as yours. For men, this is doubly important because it helps you create an emotional connection.
8. “Self-confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. How can anyone see how great you are, if you can’t see it yourself?” — Unknown
Confidence is more than what you like on the outside. Confidence is projected when you know what you like and what you don’t like. When you have opinions and aren’t afraid to share them, and when you are comfortable with your values and goals.
9. “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” — Breńe Brown
Being vulnerable is not just about pouring your heart out to your date. It’s the ability to be open and authentic. You may not be ready for a deep, meaningful relationship right now, but you do want to have quality interactions. That’s why you are doing this in the first place.
10. “Have fun.”
Just go out and enjoy the process and meet new people. You may at worst develop lifelong friendships or at best find your lifelong partner. Getting back into dating is like the famous quote by Dr. Martin Luther King on faith. “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, you just have to take the first step.” These mantras will inspire you to do just that. RELATED: 9 Signs You’re Ready To Start Dating Again After A Breakup Keith Dent is a relationship and life coach, as well as the author of the “In The Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love.” If you are having issues figuring out which personality traits you need in a man, give him a shout via email.
